The Big Three

For as long as I could remember I always thought I'd have those 'moments of revelations' that would change my life. And for once, I was not wrong about how I imagined my life would play out. Revelations were ever present in my life and not in a negligible number, either. When I joined my MBA in 2017, I quickly realized something. I was one of the oldest people in our batch! Now, I'm not one of those people who's all 'Boo, I'm older than others' so I was fine with it. In fact, I liked being the older, mature guy. People could sort of tell that about me and it acted as a warning sign for those who perpetrated unwarranted drama. But there was one guy on campus who made me think about my age with what said. My roommate in the second year.

That guy said on one evening when we were just sitting around randomly chatting. Dude. the birthday after you finish your MBA will be the last time you can claim to be in your 20s. How does that make you feel? Doesn't that scare you? I gave him a snap reply. Nah, I've always wiser beyond my years and mature than my peers. I'll be fine. He dropped it there, but his query stuck with me. Does life really change once you hit 30? Truth is, I didn't know. And I couldn't and wouldn't know till a few months yet. So, I kept tabulating my thoughts about things to see if I'd have one more 'revelation' once I crossed the threshold into my 30s. And I did. Only, this was different. It didn't happen overnight. It happened over the fortnight encompassing the week before and after my birthday.

My birthdays have always been uneventful, save for the 2 surprise parties my friends threw me, one in my M.Sc. and the other in my MBA. And I hunkered down for one more uneventful birthday, as probability dictated. But I was hoping, secretly, that something would happen. It was going to be my 30th. And if Rachel Green was any indication, it was a big deal! Celebrations wise, it was mellow. No party, not even a piece of cake or a dinner outside. Usual work day. But, here's one of the revelations: I was okay with it. I was fine with not being outside and painting the town red. Of course, I'd have enjoyed doing that, but the truth is, it was a Tuesday. I couldn't really expect anything from anyone in the middle week, now, could I? So, there I was, working and taking calls, like any other day. Then it hit me. Instead of using my birthday as an excuse to take time off work, what if I worked a little extra diligent that day? I won't tell you what I did next, for I'd like this point to be some food for thought to you, reader.

Then, after I clocked out for the day, as I was singing along to my favorite ABBA tunes, I went back to my thoughts. So, did my outlook on things change? The answer was yes, but not between December 9th & 10th, but over the past week, they had, I realized. So, what did I think of love now? That's right, that was the first thing on my mind. I was just as clueless as always. Or so I believe, because I've never been in a relationship. I only what I've seen and heard and believed about love, never had it reciprocated so I don't have a 'validation', speaking in business parlance. I'm not someone who shies away from the delicate emotions, you see. Instead, I like tackling them so I can understand myself better. I always thought being in love meant having the ultimate partner. Someone whom you can always count on. Someone who has your back. Someone who knows your faults and shortcomings but is with you in spite of all that and what's more, helps you rise above all those you thought are your limits. Now, I don't know if my definition is true, but I sure as hell hope so, because I don't have any indication of it being otherwise. This was my second revelation. "If it isn't broken, don't try to fix it". If you're not sure, keep traveling on your path and life will give you what you need.

The last big revelation: My outlook on life. I've been a proponent of the legendary Ernest Hemingway: True nobility lies not in being superior to your fellow man, but your former self. I think I'm pretty solid there, I think. Above all, just because I spent my 30th all by myself, there was one more thing I got to do, beyond these three big revelations. Re-evaluate all that I have in my life. And you know what, I have a pretty awesome lot of things. My family, friends, teammates at work and the occasional stranger providence puts in my way to show me how I can better myself. Can't really demand more, can we? Of course, there's one more thing I want, but hey, who says a wish out loud and risks it not being fulfilled, right?

So, there you have it. A pretty bland, pensive birthday from your not-so-average guy. I'm Aniruddha Saldi, I'm 30 years old and I'm quite happy with my the how, what and where of my life. How about you?

Consider this

When was the last time you were kind? Truly kind. Not drop a dime in a beggar's bowl kind. It need not have been an act of charity. In today's world, being selflessly nice to others is an act of kindness in itself. The world today has devolved into transactions so much that not harming others in itself has come to be known as kindness. That is not the kindness I'm talking about. The kindness I'm talking about is much more simple and straightforward, but all the more important. It's consideration, what I'm talking about. The thought of wanting to understand another person.

Now, I know what y'all are thinking. Isn't that empathy? No. Consideration is the step before empathy, if you ask me. Empathy is actually putting yourself in someone else's shoes. Consideration is wanting to do that. And the reason I'm writing this now is because I recently hit a milestone in my life and it made it consider a lot of things. One of the things I re-evaluated was what I would change about myself and what I wouldn't. And I will be honest. In spite of all my insecurities and apprehensions, I couldn't find a lot about myself that I thought I absolutely needed to change. And no, I'm not bragging. I'm taking pride in that fact that I was taught from a young age to discern what was right and what not. I was taught to be nice to those around and to be wary of the consequences of my actions towards those around me. And above all, I was taught to spare a thought to those less fortunate than us.

A little while back, I was walking home from a movie, at around 9:30 in the night. Location: the veggie market near my place in Kakinada. I was a few feet away when I noticed a little girl, hardly 6 years old, trying to cross the road. It wasn't that that got me. It was the fact that her mother was sitting under a tree, not trying to stop her daughter, but looking at her with unblinking eyes. And, the other side the little girl was trying to reach was a liquor compound full of drunk, unruly men. I was disgusted with the woman for the position she put her daughter in! And I was going to give her an earful. But, before I could do anything, her daughter crossed the road and some guy lifted her off the ground and put his shirt around her. My alarms instantly went off, thinking this was a kidnapper. But then I noticed the mother smile and it struck me. It must be the father!

I went and got the little girl some biscuits, so I had a pretext to talk to her parents. What I found out, blew my mind. The father worked as the money collector at the liquor compound. He was not a jobless drunk.The mother was paralyzed below the hip but worked at construction sites as the supervisor's aide to manage the daily wage laborers. And everyday, on the mother's way back from work, she stopped by the liquor compound to tell her husband it was time to return home. And I, who've prided myself in my ability to not judge, was ashamed at the mistaken assumptions I'd made. I referred the mother to the hospital my dad works at, in case they needed medical assistance, ever. I truly couldn't think of anything else to offer because they were so happy and content in that moment that anything I could conjure up would only take away from that beautiful moment. They smiled, asked their daughter to thank me and left. Here's the kicker: The wife had her own handicapped person's tricycle and the husband had his own bicycle. 

 

This unnamed family was an unforgettable lesson for me. Not for strength or purpose or some grandiose goal. But for teaching to look before I leap. For teaching to consider someone else's position before I act. For teaching me to not assume anything about anyone based on my limited knowledge and restricted perception. And that is one lesson I thought I'd already learnt from growing up. But no. Consideration, Empathy and Kindness truly have no upper limit in this world. You can never have enough of those wonderful qualities. As a friend's tattoo reads "Kill'em with kindness"!