For as long as I could remember I always thought I'd have those 'moments of revelations' that would change my life. And for once, I was not wrong about how I imagined my life would play out. Revelations were ever present in my life and not in a negligible number, either. When I joined my MBA in 2017, I quickly realized something. I was one of the oldest people in our batch! Now, I'm not one of those people who's all 'Boo, I'm older than others' so I was fine with it. In fact, I liked being the older, mature guy. People could sort of tell that about me and it acted as a warning sign for those who perpetrated unwarranted drama. But there was one guy on campus who made me think about my age with what said. My roommate in the second year.
That guy said on one evening when we were just sitting around randomly chatting. Dude. the birthday after you finish your MBA will be the last time you can claim to be in your 20s. How does that make you feel? Doesn't that scare you? I gave him a snap reply. Nah, I've always wiser beyond my years and mature than my peers. I'll be fine. He dropped it there, but his query stuck with me. Does life really change once you hit 30? Truth is, I didn't know. And I couldn't and wouldn't know till a few months yet. So, I kept tabulating my thoughts about things to see if I'd have one more 'revelation' once I crossed the threshold into my 30s. And I did. Only, this was different. It didn't happen overnight. It happened over the fortnight encompassing the week before and after my birthday.
My birthdays have always been uneventful, save for the 2 surprise parties my friends threw me, one in my M.Sc. and the other in my MBA. And I hunkered down for one more uneventful birthday, as probability dictated. But I was hoping, secretly, that something would happen. It was going to be my 30th. And if Rachel Green was any indication, it was a big deal! Celebrations wise, it was mellow. No party, not even a piece of cake or a dinner outside. Usual work day. But, here's one of the revelations: I was okay with it. I was fine with not being outside and painting the town red. Of course, I'd have enjoyed doing that, but the truth is, it was a Tuesday. I couldn't really expect anything from anyone in the middle week, now, could I? So, there I was, working and taking calls, like any other day. Then it hit me. Instead of using my birthday as an excuse to take time off work, what if I worked a little extra diligent that day? I won't tell you what I did next, for I'd like this point to be some food for thought to you, reader.
Then, after I clocked out for the day, as I was singing along to my favorite ABBA tunes, I went back to my thoughts. So, did my outlook on things change? The answer was yes, but not between December 9th & 10th, but over the past week, they had, I realized. So, what did I think of love now? That's right, that was the first thing on my mind. I was just as clueless as always. Or so I believe, because I've never been in a relationship. I only what I've seen and heard and believed about love, never had it reciprocated so I don't have a 'validation', speaking in business parlance. I'm not someone who shies away from the delicate emotions, you see. Instead, I like tackling them so I can understand myself better. I always thought being in love meant having the ultimate partner. Someone whom you can always count on. Someone who has your back. Someone who knows your faults and shortcomings but is with you in spite of all that and what's more, helps you rise above all those you thought are your limits. Now, I don't know if my definition is true, but I sure as hell hope so, because I don't have any indication of it being otherwise. This was my second revelation. "If it isn't broken, don't try to fix it". If you're not sure, keep traveling on your path and life will give you what you need.
The last big revelation: My outlook on life. I've been a proponent of the legendary Ernest Hemingway: True nobility lies not in being superior to your fellow man, but your former self. I think I'm pretty solid there, I think. Above all, just because I spent my 30th all by myself, there was one more thing I got to do, beyond these three big revelations. Re-evaluate all that I have in my life. And you know what, I have a pretty awesome lot of things. My family, friends, teammates at work and the occasional stranger providence puts in my way to show me how I can better myself. Can't really demand more, can we? Of course, there's one more thing I want, but hey, who says a wish out loud and risks it not being fulfilled, right?
So, there you have it. A pretty bland, pensive birthday from your not-so-average guy. I'm Aniruddha Saldi, I'm 30 years old and I'm quite happy with my the how, what and where of my life. How about you?
No comments:
Post a Comment