Consider this

When was the last time you were kind? Truly kind. Not drop a dime in a beggar's bowl kind. It need not have been an act of charity. In today's world, being selflessly nice to others is an act of kindness in itself. The world today has devolved into transactions so much that not harming others in itself has come to be known as kindness. That is not the kindness I'm talking about. The kindness I'm talking about is much more simple and straightforward, but all the more important. It's consideration, what I'm talking about. The thought of wanting to understand another person.

Now, I know what y'all are thinking. Isn't that empathy? No. Consideration is the step before empathy, if you ask me. Empathy is actually putting yourself in someone else's shoes. Consideration is wanting to do that. And the reason I'm writing this now is because I recently hit a milestone in my life and it made it consider a lot of things. One of the things I re-evaluated was what I would change about myself and what I wouldn't. And I will be honest. In spite of all my insecurities and apprehensions, I couldn't find a lot about myself that I thought I absolutely needed to change. And no, I'm not bragging. I'm taking pride in that fact that I was taught from a young age to discern what was right and what not. I was taught to be nice to those around and to be wary of the consequences of my actions towards those around me. And above all, I was taught to spare a thought to those less fortunate than us.

A little while back, I was walking home from a movie, at around 9:30 in the night. Location: the veggie market near my place in Kakinada. I was a few feet away when I noticed a little girl, hardly 6 years old, trying to cross the road. It wasn't that that got me. It was the fact that her mother was sitting under a tree, not trying to stop her daughter, but looking at her with unblinking eyes. And, the other side the little girl was trying to reach was a liquor compound full of drunk, unruly men. I was disgusted with the woman for the position she put her daughter in! And I was going to give her an earful. But, before I could do anything, her daughter crossed the road and some guy lifted her off the ground and put his shirt around her. My alarms instantly went off, thinking this was a kidnapper. But then I noticed the mother smile and it struck me. It must be the father!

I went and got the little girl some biscuits, so I had a pretext to talk to her parents. What I found out, blew my mind. The father worked as the money collector at the liquor compound. He was not a jobless drunk.The mother was paralyzed below the hip but worked at construction sites as the supervisor's aide to manage the daily wage laborers. And everyday, on the mother's way back from work, she stopped by the liquor compound to tell her husband it was time to return home. And I, who've prided myself in my ability to not judge, was ashamed at the mistaken assumptions I'd made. I referred the mother to the hospital my dad works at, in case they needed medical assistance, ever. I truly couldn't think of anything else to offer because they were so happy and content in that moment that anything I could conjure up would only take away from that beautiful moment. They smiled, asked their daughter to thank me and left. Here's the kicker: The wife had her own handicapped person's tricycle and the husband had his own bicycle. 

 

This unnamed family was an unforgettable lesson for me. Not for strength or purpose or some grandiose goal. But for teaching to look before I leap. For teaching to consider someone else's position before I act. For teaching me to not assume anything about anyone based on my limited knowledge and restricted perception. And that is one lesson I thought I'd already learnt from growing up. But no. Consideration, Empathy and Kindness truly have no upper limit in this world. You can never have enough of those wonderful qualities. As a friend's tattoo reads "Kill'em with kindness"!